How to know if someone secretly hates us: expert shares the nonverbal technique that reveals it

The “what will people say” question is one of the thoughts that many people have. There are those who want to know what is being said, why, to whom and how they are being talked about.

Other people don't give much importance to rumors and comments, but they are interested in knowing who likes them and who annoys them. Is there a way to find out without having to ask?

Juan Manuel García López 'Pincho', a former Civil Guard trained in Critical Incident Negotiation and Behavior Analysis by the FBI, known as @cienciasdelcomportamiento on social media; answered this question. In Marián Gamboa's podcast, he revealed the signs that identify those people who hate others in silence.

He began by talking about reactions that do not seem real or natural. “A person who smiles at us because we have made them laugh or we are something positive for them will smile at us in a genuine and authentic way, because there will be an emotion of joy on their face. The corners of the lips will move upwards,” he said. He also said that when this expression is not genuine, the only thing that will move is the mouth.

According to the expert, there are other signs in gestures that show what someone really feels towards the other person. He mentioned the period of emotional charge and discharge to refer to these unknown signals.

“Joy is quickly loaded onto the face, but the discharge period of joy is slow. So if you see a person who smiles at you and quickly changes the conversation or goes somewhere else and their face is serious, that is not genuine, it is not authentic,” he clarified.

If you are the victim of a smile like the one above, know that this joy is fake, that it does not mean that they hate you, but it is not a sign of liking but of scanning. He also spoke of body displays: “There are certain facial movements that have to do with negative emotions such as disgust or contempt, their body runs away from you… At the level of body language it can be perceived quite well.”

The former Civil Guard recommended acting in a certain way to know where a person's feelings lie: "If you already have the suspicion that the person doesn't like you very much and you want to confirm it, provoke reactions. Touch them a little, see how they react."

According to Garcia, if you don't tolerate someone or are not tolerated by someone, no matter how hard you try, if you can't see each other, the reaction will not be positive and the body will reveal it. "There will be an emotional reaction of pulling back, of smiling uncomfortably... Surely things will come out," he said.

If you want to test yourself in front of other people in your circle, take advantage of public meetings to do an exercise: ask him/her to tell you what you are talking about, ask him/her what he/she thinks of what you are saying or suggest feedback. “If he/she is genuine, he/she will respond positively and without avoiding eye contact,” said the expert in behavioral analysis.

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