My family bought three direct cremations but I have one message for those considering it

Catriona Keeling lost her mother, her father and her uncle all within the space of 12 months. First, 73-year-old Jenny died in January 2024. Seven months later, her father Martyn died at 76. And in January 2025, it was the turn of her Uncle Phil, 70.

For most grieving relatives, the burden of losing three loved ones and then organising three separate funerals would exact a heavy toll. But Catriona, a 48-year-old events manager from Bristol, faced a much simpler task.

Fortunately for her, before they died, Jenny, Martyn and Phil had all chosen what’s known as “direct cremation”, without a formal funeral or attended service.

Direct cremations are nothing like traditional funerals. There are no undertakers, no hearses, and no crematorium services.

The deceased is collected – from home, hospital or care home – placed in a simple coffin, and then cremated by professionals at a private crematorium.

Families can still hold a memorial service at a later date but, on the whole, no mourners are present at the cremation itself.

It may sound rather soulless, undignified even – some critics have given it the harsh nickname “burn and return”. But this simpler method of sending off loved ones is growing in popularity. According to a recent survey, one in five Britons are now choosing direct cremation in advance of their final days. The same survey calculated that, in the UK, the average cost of a basic, traditional funeral is now £4,285, taking into account a burial or cremation, a service, a mid-range coffin, a hearse, plus fees for the doctor, the undertakers and the celebrant. Dying, it appears, is an expensive business.

Catriona says her three relatives had been worried about the excessive costs of a final send-off, which is why they opted for direct cremation instead.

“It was about saving money, but also they didn’t want the faff,” she explains. “They really didn’t. What they chose was for the family to meet up six months after they had died, when everybody had done their grieving, so we could all have a nice day and chat about their lives. More of a celebration.”

Catriona’s mother and father both hired the services of a company called Pure Cremation. After they died, their bodies were transported by private ambulance to the company’s crematorium near Andover, in Hampshire, with the ashes delivered to Catriona afterwards.

On each occasion it cost around £1,400. Her Uncle Phil used another company called Distinct Cremations.

For her parents, Catriona then organised two separate celebrations at later dates.

Martyn’s was a simple affair with close friends and family at her home in Bristol. For her mother Jenny it was a more elaborate celebration, outdoors beside a swimming lake, in a Somerset seaside town called Clevedon.

Rather than a gravestone, Jenny had her ashes scattered off the end of Clevedon Pier and a plaque installed on the edge of the pier, at her favourite viewpoint over the Bristol Channel.

Martyn chose to have his ashes scattered at a site in Derbyshire “that held fond memories for him”. Uncle Phil opted to have trees planted in his name.

Catriona accepts direct cremations will not suit everyone, and admits some of her parents’ older friends and relatives were disappointed at the absence of a formal service.

“They wanted to show their respect,” she says. “It’s not right for everybody.

“But they were fine when they knew it was what Mum and Dad and Phil wanted.”

Catriona points out how, for all of us, finance and family politics can be influential when it comes to choosing what kind of ceremony we want once we’ve breathed our last breath. “My biggest message is: if a big, normal, traditional funeral is right for you then, by God, go and do it,” she stresses.

“But, actually, there are lots of people struggling with finances; also people who have strange relationships with family members. There are lots of things to consider.”

Ian Atkinson of Pure Cremation says the idea of direct cremations “was given a jump start” during the Covid pandemic when, by law, mourners were not allowed to attend funerals.

“Lots of people had a good experience of that and, by word of mouth, the idea grew,” he adds.

“Traditional funerals are expensive. Direct cremation means you can leave more money to your family, or you’ll have more money to pay for a personal send-off.

“Also, traditional funerals can feel very old-fashioned. More and more people are saying: ‘Don’t wear black for my funeral. Wear colourful clothing. Wear my football strip. Play my favourite song, not solemn music.’

“So I can see direct cremations becoming more popular. But there will always be people who want a traditional funeral.”

Michael Forsyth is head of funeral plans at Co-op Funeralcare, one of the UK’s leading companies in this industry, with more than 800 funeral homes nationwide. He agrees direct cremations are not for everyone.

“Choosing an attended funeral service offers emotional, cultural, and communal benefits that many people still find deeply meaningful and, as long as families want to celebrate the lives of their loved ones with personalised or traditional attended services, then this market will continue,” he says.

“Direct cremation provides a great alternative, but it’s critical that clients and their families truly understand what they are and have made an informed decision, to avoid difficulties later down the line at an already emotional time.”

Even wealthy people often opt for very simple funerals, especially if they are famous and their relatives are keen to avoid too much public attention.

Examples include scientist Albert Einstein, Hollywood actor Robin Williams, and pop stars John Lennon, George Harrison, David Bowie, Whitney Houston and Janis Joplin.

One person who is an absolute authority on British funerals is Howard Hodgson.

Now 74 and retired, the businessman and entrepreneur helped his family funeral firm, Hodgson & Sons, become one of the country’s largest independents, eventually earning £70million from the inevitable fate that awaits us all.

In 1987, thanks to his success in funeral care, the then prime minister Margaret Thatcher honoured him as entrepreneur of the year.

Hodgson disapproves wholeheartedly of direct cremations – insisting that traditional funerals can be just as inexpensive.

“Many people say, ‘I don’t want my family to worry about my funeral costs. I also want to leave them as much money as possible. I won’t be there. You can put me in a wheelie bin for all I care. I’ll buy one of those direct cremation things.’”

He believes this can end up being a false economy. “It’s a massive mistake.

“The family then realise dad has bought a product where there is no service and that he will be transported hundreds of miles away to be part of a mass conveyor belt cremation, a bit like the family pet would be.

“Many families are horrified and immediately ask how much more they must pay to have a local attended service.”

Hodgson, who recently published the first volume of his life story, This Life in Death, published by Chipmunka, stresses how mourners need a proper service in order to say farewell to dead relatives.

“Funeral services are for the living, not the deceased,” he adds. “They are an essential part of obtaining closure in the grieving process. They are part of mankind’s civilisation and have been for thousands of years.

“Can you imagine Winston Churchill, the Princess of Wales or the Queen just having a memorial service followed by some ‘lovely sausage rolls’ down the pub?”

However, he understands many families will struggle with funeral costs, and therefore he urges the industry to offer more affordable attended services, without all the “Victorian pomp” of black hearses, funeral processions, expensive floral tributes and undertakers in sombre suits.

Indeed, it was all this old-fashioned pomp and ceremony that Catriona was so keen to avoid when it came to saying goodbye to her parents and her uncle.

“If they’d wanted the full-on, traditional funeral, with all the Victoriana, that’s what they would have had,” she says. “But they didn’t.”

In fact, she was so happy with the pared down send-off her three relatives chose, that she has decided on a direct cremation for herself, once the time comes. She has five kids, ranging in age from 15 to 29 years.

“I don’t want my children to have the extra hassle, expense and worry of putting together a grand, very old-fashioned funeral,” she adds.

“You can grieve and respect people and celebrate people’s lives without having to have that ceremony.

“I know that my children and my family will all remember me in their own way, just as we have remembered my parents and my uncle. And that gives me comfort.”