On the surface I had a perfect life – but I was suffering from panic and anxiety attacks

Record-breaking rower Angus Collins is a man on a mission. On June 8, he’ll set off from Portsmouth Harbour on an epic adventure, hoping to become the first person to row around the coast of Great Britain solo and unassisted. One of the first major dangers on his 1,700-mile voyage is the shipwreck graveyard of Portland Race, a treacherous stretch of water off the coast of Dorset. Then there’s the small matter of Europe’s largest whirlpool – the Corryvreckan, off the Isle of Jura, on Scotland’s west coast – and the world’s busiest shipping lanes.

“If there isn’t a phone signal then I have satellite communications, so if something goes wrong I can always call for help,” says Angus, who has rowed the Atlantic twice. He aims to row for up to 18 hours a day, in shifts of eight hours, before dropping anchor and sleeping for around four hours. Depending on tides and weather, he plans to row through the night because it’s cooler.

The rules of the challenge mean he cannot accept help with navigation or supplies, he can’t come ashore, and at no point is another boat allowed to touch his vessel. He’s no stranger to challenges, having broken records on a 3,000 mile journey across the Atlantic with a team in the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge.

But Angus, from Hambledon, Hampshire, has a more profound reason for attempting this feat than grabbing a world record. Five years ago he was in suicidal crisis. On his 30th birthday, he told his family he was with friends – and his friends he was with family. In fact, he was alone on his boat in Essex, and had planned how to take his own life. “On the surface it looked like I had the perfect life. I’d rowed the world’s biggest oceans and broken world records, I ran a successful boat building business and I flew around the globe to coach elite rowing teams. It was everything I’d dreamed of,” he explains.

“In fact I had been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for months, and as my birthday got closer I remember thinking, I should approach my 30th feeling happy as I’ve achieved my goals. But I wasn’t happy and I couldn’t work out why. Nothing I had achieved made me happy. I couldn’t see how I could carry on in life feeling like this, and suicide seemed like my only option.”

Thankfully, Angus, now 35, did not follow through with his plans and went on to meet Elsa, who he married. He was able to open up to her and she helped him find the psychological support he needed. Today he is a passionate advocate for men’s mental health, and is aiming to raise £250,000 for the male suicide prevention charity James’ Place during the row.

The charity was set up in 2018 by parents Clare Milford Haven and Nick Wentworth-Stanley in memory of their son James, who took his own life aged 21 in 2006 after he reported feeling suicidal following a minor operation. It runs centres in London, Liverpool and Newcastle, that provide free, life-saving therapy for men in suicidal crisis. They receive between six and eight sessions and there is no waiting list. “This row is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted. But if just one man hears my story and is inspired to seek help, then it will have been worth it,” Angus explains.

Here – assisted by Andy Noon, therapist at James’ Place and head of the charity’s Liverpool centre – he shares five key pieces of advice for men who are experiencing mental health issues, and also for their friends and family:

Angus says: “I like the quote from author Simon Sinek where he says sometimes you just have to sit in the mud with someone who’s experiencing a crisis. It means sitting and listening to them and just being there, rather than trying to find all the answers.”

Andy adds: “This is a great quote and it’s true that listening is a great skill. No one is expecting you, as a listener, to come up with a plan and solve all the person’s problems. Try asking the question ‘have you thought about what might help?’, as that puts the power of how to help himself back into the man’s hands. The Hub of Hope app is also a good tool as it lists all the mental health support services available in your local area.”

Angus says: “After reaching crisis point, I spoke with an NHS psychiatrist, who said I had a good business and a good support network of friends and family, so I’d be fine. That just served to make me feel even more guilty and confused about why I was feeling like this. It wasn’t until I met Elsa that I really opened up, and she ­encouraged me to speak with one of my closest friends, as well as find a therapist who I could work with. Speaking with my friend was what really helped me to get through it.”

Many of the men Andy works with at James’ Place are also reluctant to share their feelings at first.

He says: “Men often feel isolated, many don’t want to become a burden to their friends or family or feel that they are weak if they can’t deal with problems by themselves. In fact, talking to someone you trust and who listens to you can help change negative thought patterns and open up other options for the future.”

The majority of men who Andy works with have faced a life event that has caused their mental health to decline. He says: “The most common life events that lead men to crisis are a separation or divorce, a job loss, a bereavement or financial difficulties. But although these might be the triggers, it’s likely there are a lot of complex reasons for their state of mind, some maybe going back to childhood. I always encourage friends and family to look for signs of mental distress in a man they care about by thinking about what they can see, hear and smell.

“Can you see any ­differences in his routine? Do you hear him talking negatively, or even not hear him at all because he’s become withdrawn? Do you smell alcohol? Noticing this can be a way to start a conversation. It’s also important to realise that sometimes there will be no outward signs that someone is struggling.”

Angus will burn more than 6,000 calories and row for up to 18 hours every day during his British coastline challenge, and he has been training for months in the gym to be ready. While most of us will never reach these levels of fitness, it’s been proven that exercise is key to maintaining positive mental health. Andy says: “I like to use the SHED technique with the men I work with. It stands for Sleep, Hydration, Exercise and Diet – think of these as the four walls supporting a shed, and if one crumbles then the whole structure will come down.”

Angus says: “As part of my recovery I wanted to start journalling every morning, but I’d look at the blank piece of paper in the notebook and not know what to write. I bought a pack of 50 emotion cards and it helped me put a name to what I was feeling, beyond ‘sad’ or ‘empty’.”

Andy adds: “Cards are one of our key tools at James’ Place.

“Some of the ones we use intherapy sessions have feelings and emotions like ‘trapped’ or ‘humiliated’ on them, some have questionsor prompts. It helps men to name their emotions, widen their thinking from the narrow lens of suicide, and open up about how they are feeling and what they are going through.”

To donate to Angus’s fundraising visit justgiving.com/page/gbodyssey To access support from James’ Place visit

jamesplace.org.uk/