Dem Valente after attacks by incel haters: "Violence must not be made neutral"

“The risk that I personally see together with many women who have worked for other women in these years, is to go even backwards”. Senator Valeria Valente returns to the issue of the help desk for abused men in the VI Municipio , the only centre-right one, and the attacks she has received (even a complaint) for having said that violence against women cannot be equated to that against men.

Senator, your post has sparked a storm, especially from men ready to claim that violence is neutral. Why? What do you think?

"There is a resurgence of a part of organized men. Fortunately, there are also many men who are starting to understand, to get involved, to question themselves, to change their way of being in relationships and in the world. Unfortunately, however, there are still many men who tend to react in the worst possible way to the loss of power. Serial haters online are this."

There is also a complaint filed against her for incitement to hatred by the lawyer Pisani.

"Behind the complaint there is this logic, the desire to tell women 'you have to stop, that's enough' and therefore I see the risk of calling into question all the achievements of women, even leading women from being victims to executioners".

Let's be clear though: does violence against men exist in your opinion?

“I recognize it, of course. How is it possible not to recognize that men are victims of violence? Why wouldn’t we have recognized it?” Stalking, for example, is a psychological dynamic that often has to do with a form of obsession. Of an inability to manage anger. But it is certainly not the reaction to the questioning of an identity that has dominated for centuries. It is not women who have done it, the asymmetry of power still exists today and is to the advantage of men”.

Having clarified this, what worries you about the initiative of the VI Municipio?

“The real issue is that male violence against women is a specific type of violence, that is, different from other types. And it is important to recognize this difference. So without taking anything away from all other types of violence: male violence against women is first and foremost a structural, systemic violence, linked to cultural and social models. The logic of domination, of oppression, of control that if questioned causes a way of being in the world to collapse, is a violence that only goes one way: from men towards women, not the other way around. Why have we recognized over time ad hoc measures that are those put into practice by anti-violence centers? Precisely because we have recognized a specificity. If we equate violence against men and violence against women, we are essentially neutralizing that specificity and in the end we will arrive at neutral tools. This is dangerous and we are going back 50 years completely”.

Does the fact that the resolution establishing the office speaks of parental alienation worry you?

"Yes, because not only do they recognize it as a syndrome and it is not a syndrome, but they make a 'qualitative leap' by claiming that it is not only against children but is psychological violence against fathers. The risk is that women are even treated as executioners, so if a woman goes to report the violence and separates, she risks having her parental responsibility called into question and therefore her child taken away, but she is even considered the violent one".

The anti-violence centers and the main Italian associations that deal with violence against women have written a letter of solidarity towards you. Did you expect that?

“A beautiful affection, absolutely unexpected. But I also saw an avalanche of adhesions to a reading of a danger. Theirs is an appeal to say 'let's join forces to face this drift'. As if to say: be careful, we oppose, we oppose this attempt to restore a system of power”.

Does the complaint from lawyer Pisani worry you?

“I am also a lawyer, so I trust the judiciary to know what we are talking about with regard to the phenomenon of violence against women. I am accused of inciting hatred, but when could I ever incite hatred towards men? For what reason? I push for the balance of power to be rewritten”.