The drive to "change" in relationships: Love or power struggle?
According to evaluations in the field of relationships and psychology, efforts to change a partner often damage the self-image and undermine equality in the relationship. When people start to see their partners as a project rather than an individual, emotional bonds begin to weaken. This can lead to distrust, resentment and lack of communication between the parties.
Relationship experts say that wanting our loved one to be at their best is a natural emotion. However, when this desire becomes a constant intervention, it can threaten a person’s uniqueness and individuality. “Trying to change someone is often perceived as criticizing them rather than supporting them,” say experts, adding that this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and emotional withdrawal in the partner.
When one partner in a relationship is constantly changing and the other is being changed, it undermines the principle of equal partnership. This can polarize the relationship dynamics as the “project manager” and the “person trying to please.” In the long run, this power imbalance creates both individual and relationship dissatisfaction. According to experts, true love is about accepting your partner as they are. Respecting your partner’s personal journey, supporting their development, and being there for them without forcing them to change are among the cornerstones of long-lasting relationships. Relationship counselors offer the following advice to couples:
Dialogue instead of fights: Try to solve problems with open communication instead of accusation. Respect and acceptance: Love your partner as they are, try to understand them rather than change them. Respect for individual areas: Each individual has a different past and story. Respect these differences. Do not impose change: Development can only be achieved with internal motivation. Forcing wears down the relationship. The common view of experts is that the relationship is not a “correction operation” but an area where two individuals grow together. Couples who accept their partners as they are and encourage development with mutual support can establish relationships built on much stronger foundations.
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