Benny Blanco Is the World’s Greatest Fiancé
Benny Blanco is of the most influential music producers and songwriters of our time. You know his creative handiwork for artists ranging from Keith Urban to The Weeknd to Katy Perry to BTS to Rihanna—and also, Selena Gomez, of course, to whom he is blissfully engaged. But he is also, it turns out, a down-to-earth dude who possesses some hard-won wisdom. And at 37, as an artist and as a man, it appears he is just getting started. Read on for the best lesson his mom taught him, the artist he’s eager to work with, and what he cooks for Gomez at home.
You’re not a fan of air travel. Where are you?Oh my God, I hate it. Terrifying. I’m in Dallas right now. I’m driving to New York from Los Angeles.
You’ve worked with some incredible women. What female artist has given you the most wisdom?Most recently, it became Selena. When you’re recording someone, it’s like a therapy session. You say, “Hey, how you doing?” They say, “Oh, I’m doing great.” And you say, “No, how you really doing?” They go, “No, I’m doing good” And then you say, “How you really doing” And then they’re like, “I hate this! I want to do this. I want to do that.” You get deep with someone, and you never know how it’s going to go. I learned from Selena that when you have patience and love for another person, it makes everything so much easier.
Flipside: Who’s a female artist you haven’t worked with yet but would love to produce?Someone who has my attention lately, who I’m super blown-away by, is Doechii. I’ve been following her since the beginning of her career, and it’s cool to see her getting so much light shining on her right now.
What’s something that women do better than men?Everything? Yeah, just…existing. Men are dumber. Men have less patience. I’m amazed every, every, every, every time I get to be in the same room with Selena. I’m amazed at how she carries herself and all the things she does—the multitasking. Everything.
What’s the best lesson she ever taught you?My mom is very much a karma person. She always says, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” And I know it sounds so corny. But people don’t do it! You should treat the best NBA player in the world the same way you treat the person valeting cars. You’re not supposed to prioritize people based on what they do.
What’s the best way to tell a woman you’re sorry?I think what you do is, you say, “I’m sorry.” Even if you're just a little wrong. Just say you’re sorry.
I’m very attentive. I know what my crowd wants. I know the hits with Selena, so I’m going to cook her exactly what she wants. She’s not gonna want, like, sea urchin. She’s a steak dinner type of girl. She wants mashed potatoes, some creamed spinach.
I have a whole menu of things she likes, so whenever she’s hungry, I have them in my back pocket. I prep a lot of stuff and freeze it. She loves coconut shrimp, so I’ll prep a bunch of them, and then I just drop them in the deep fryer when she wants them. I make personal chicken pot pies for her, in little ramekins.
What’s the Benny Blanco steak technique?Smoke it low and slow on a Traeger smoker, or a Green Egg, whatever. I do 225 for 40 minutes. And I don’t put a lot of stuff on it—I just rub mine down almost like you would a brisket: a little yellow mustard with just salt and pepper and a little bit of love. And then I sear it on a screaming-hot grill over coals, or in a hot cast-iron pan, for a crazy crust. As I’m searing it, I take it off and on, I’m dipping in butter, giving it a butter bath. And then you just let it chill for a sec. And then you slice that bad boy up. You won’t need sauce. Nothing.
While you’re cooking, what female singer—not from this generation—is on the turntable?It’s Aretha or Ella. One of my and Selena’s favorite songs ever is “One Step Ahead” by Aretha Franklin.
What’s a surprising thing a woman would find out about you once the relationship is getting deep?You wouldn’t think it, but I’m pretty obsessed with cleanliness. I’m cleaning all day. I’m folding my clothes, refolding them, putting things away. After a party, my favorite thing to do is wait till the next morning, get really stoned, and then clean the entire kitchen.
Last question: Saturday night, wide open. What do you want to do?There is a world where we’re going to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Thai town, then going to a Mexican line-dancing bar, or a burlesque show. Or, option two: We’re cooking a meal, getting in our cozies, watching the best movies. Or our third option, which is a hybrid: We’re going to a friend’s house, we’re all cooking, doing a potluck, drinking wine, hanging out, and laughing the night away doing a game night. That’s our triple-threat, three-moves-to-the-hoop night.
A version of this story appears in the May 2025 issue of ELLE.
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