I was a white wine drinker for decades. Seven years after my last glass, I received a shocking diagnosis. I knew it was my fault... I'd left it too late

While reading a bedtime story to her two children, Tabbin Almond's mind was elsewhere.

All she could think about was the glass of crisp white wine that was waiting for her as soon as she was alone.

Only it was never just one glass. It was two or three - eventually the entire bottle.

'I used alcohol as a reward, to wind down for some "me time" and to feel numb. But I'd wake up the next morning with a hangover and feeling guilty for drinking - yet it would happen over and over again,' Tabbin, now 65, tells me.

'You feel like you're in a trap you can't get out of.'

Alcohol played a lead role in Tabbin's life from a young age. Growing up in the UK, it was a part of the culture; her parents were drinkers and, later, so were her friends.

She drank to have fun at university and during a short stint living in France. In the 1980s, she worked in advertising, an industry notorious for boozy lunches and after-work drinks.

After settling down, getting married and having children, Tabbin's drinking evolved. Cocktail bars were replaced by glasses of wine at home on the couch - often while her husband was away for work.

Tabbin was in complete denial about the amount she was drinking.

'I'd finish a bottle which was already open and start another... I tried not to go from top to bottom because that way it would be obvious how much I drank,' she says.

'If my husband was home, he'd have a glass of red while I drank white wine. I'd sometimes have a glass of red when he wasn't looking to make it seem like I drank less than him.'

The cycle of drinking, followed by guilt and regret, continued for years.

By the age of 47, Tabbin had finally had enough.

After reading Allen Carr's book The Easy Way to Control Alcohol and trying hypnotherapy, Tabbin resolved to put down the bottle.

Seven solid years of sobriety followed.

During that time, Tabbin found a lump in her breast, but after a mammogram was told everything was fine.

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She continued bi-yearly mammograms for the next five years, until December 2013, when she says 'the weirdest thing happened'.

'I woke up in the middle of the night and thought to myself, "That letter's not right." It was the gut feeling I needed.

The next morning, she went to her doctor who gave her a referral for an ultrasound.

Lying on the table she asked the doctor, 'What can you see?'

The doctor looked her in the eyes and responded: 'I see a woman with potentially life-saving instincts... We're looking at a 4.5cm tumour.'

A biopsy confirmed the worst: it was cancer.

Tabbin was told she needed surgery to remove the tumour and surrounding tissue.

She had expected that - but when tests confirmed the cancer had spread to several lymph nodes, she spiralled.

On the way home from the doctor, she wept in the car. Then, after seven years of not touching a drop of alcohol, she gave in and had a couple glasses at home.

'I felt too frightened to be in my own head, so I drank a bottle of wine with my brother and adult daughter,' she tells me.

It was then Tabbin realised that while she had been able to quit booze for the better half of a decade, she hadn't learned to manage her own emotions without alcohol.

'When I began chemotherapy, I couldn't drink. But as soon as I had finished treatment I slipped back into my old habits,' she continues.

By that point, Tabbin had split from her husband and her two grown-up children had moved out of the family home.

Without anyone to judge her, a bottle of wine or two a night became the norm again.

There was no one to question why a cancer patient was drinking again after seven years on the wagon. Her drinking was completely secret.

'At that stage, a lot of people thought that I didn't drink anymore, so I kept it hidden, which was horrible because I felt ashamed,' Tabbin says.

'One morning I googled, "Am I an alcoholic?" You kind of know the answer if you're doing that.'

Her searches led her to another 'quit-lit' book, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.

After reading it, she says, 'the stars aligned'.

'It was the first time anybody had really explained alcohol to me. It explained, "This is not your fault. This is alcohol's fault, alcohol is the problem,"' she says.

'I read the book and thought I might not be doomed. One morning, after waking up hungover, I signed up for a three-month course with [the author Annie Grace].'

Grace's approach differed from the hypnotherapy because it focused on internal reflection, addressing beliefs about drinking, and understanding the science behind alcohol addiction.

'During that course, I learned for the first time that alcohol causes cancer - six cancers in particular, one of them being breast cancer. It was the biggest "ah-ha" moment. I was like, "Oh god, why did no one tell me?"'

The realisation that she might have done this to herself - albeit unwittingly - was almost too much for Tabbin to bear.

While she couldn't say for certain alcohol had caused her breast cancer, she knew the chances were high. There was no avoiding the facts.

While sitting at an Italian restaurant in London with her daughter, she decided she was 'done' with alcohol.

'I ordered a glass of pinot grigio and knowing now what it could do to me I just didn't want it,' she says.

That was May 12, 2018. She has been sober ever since.

Today, Tabbin is the healthiest she has ever been.

She recently completed her first HYROX competition - a fitness challenge that combines running and functional workouts - alongside her daughter.

'Now I wake up and I have energy when I never did before. Life is so much better without alcohol,' she enthuses.

To others struggling with alcohol, Tabbin's message is simple: You are not alone.

Tabbin is proud to announce her book Bottling Up Trouble: How Alcohol is Harming Your Business... and What to Do About It is a Business Book Awards 2025 finalist.