Billionaire Island Where Bezos Lives Lobbies State Gov to Flush Its Poop Down Neighbor Town’s Pipes

One of the places that Jeff Bezos lives is a man-made island off the coast of Florida called Indian Creek Village. The island is predominantly populated by other billionaires and is colloquially known as the “Billionaire Bunker.” In fact, if you’re not a billionaire, it’s quite difficult to get in. The bridge from the mainland to the island is closed to the public and protected by armed guards and a sophisticated security system. However, if the island is almost entirely cut off from the rest of humanity, the island’s inhabitants still seem intent on sharing one thing with members of the outside world: their piss and shit.

The New York Times reports on an amusing tussle between Indian Creek Village and a neighboring town, Surfside, which is also populated by rich people (albeit not nearly as rich as the ones who live on the island). Indian Creek doesn’t have the underground infrastructure to deal with its own poop, so the solution it came up with was to funnel it through Surfside into a wider regional sewage system. Unfortunately, Surfside didn’t want the poop unless Indian Creek was willing to contribute $10 million to the community for future sewer system improvements. Indian Creek has referred to this request as “extortion.”

“We were not going to be extorted by him,” Stephen J. Helfman, the village lawyer, told the Times. “We are a local government just like they are. They are a wealthy community too.”

In an effort to fight this grave injustice, the community’s village council subsequently traveled to Florida’s State Capitol to lobby on behalf of the toilet-related concerns. The Times notes that Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s son-in-law, is a member of Indian Creek Village and is on the council.

The lobbying appears to have worked, as the Times reports that a large transportation bill recently approved by the state legislature now includes a “new legal measure prohibiting municipalities from blocking or charging for the installation of certain sewer lines — like the one Indian Creek wants to build, for example.” The bill now only has to be signed into law by Governor Ron DeSantis. Charles Burkett, the mayor of Surfside, told the Times that he was blindsided by the legislative effort to resolve the matter:

Mr. Burkett said he was not aware that Indian Creek had taken the issue to Tallahassee until he got a call from someone in the governor’s office. The aide, he said, appeared to be sympathetic to Indian Creek’s situation.

“He’s the one who kind of said, ‘We’ll just make a law, and that’s how we’ll solve the problem,’” Mr. Burkett said.

When reached for comment by Gizmodo, Helfman said that the village had been “working on a plan to eliminate septic tanks to comply with State and local environmental mandates.” Helfman relayed that when the community had “applied for the required State of Florida environmental utility permit to do the work which includes a 4-inch pipe under a public street within the Town of Surfside.” Surfside subsequently declined to grant “the routine administrative permit to install the pipe. The Surfside Mayor made several demands on several ICV City officials for a $10,000,000 payment as a condition to the permit. Indian Creek refused.”

“We notified the State of the issue in case they were aware of this issue with any other cities. We believe the State was also unsuccessful in their request with Surfside, representatives said. “The State understood that a change in state law was needed to prevent this from occurring with other cities. The bill (that overwhelmingly passed both houses of the legislature) simply states that when a City is converting from a septic tank system to a sewer system with state-approved permits, no local government permit is needed to use a public street.”

Helfman further clarified that Indian Creek Village had “built its own system [sewage]” and that the community was merely attempting to install “a pipe in a public street within Surfside” and thereby connect it to a “regional system used by all cities and operated by the County government.”

Somehow, an island full of billionaires exporting their shit into somebody else’s backyard feels like a good metaphor for our current socio-political order, though the exact particulars of it are escaping me right now.