Psychology: Are you too self-critical?

Being able to reflect on yourself is an important skill. We all make mistakes, and if we recognize them, we can learn and grow from them. However, many of us have internalized this attitude a bit too much. We often judge ourselves too harshly. We internally belittle ourselves for not being perfect.

But what level of self-criticism is appropriate, and when are we being too hard on ourselves? There are some signs that indicate your inner critic is working overtime again.

These 7 signs indicate that you are too hard on yourself 1. You don't take any risks

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can't really relate to this saying. Because you always view your own mistakes through a magnifying glass, the risk of making them is always too great for you. Applying for that big new project at work that could really advance you? Better not, you might fail. Going on the journey you've been wanting to take for a long time alone? Better not, something might go wrong.

Of course, it's good and important to weigh risks sensibly. But if the fear of making mistakes keeps us from pursuing our dreams, then we're clearly being too hard on ourselves.

2. You are very reserved with your opinion

Don't say anything wrong! For fear of saying something stupid or boring, you prefer to hold back. This even applies to topics you're actually quite knowledgeable about. Another sure sign that you're too self-critical. Other people generally never judge us as harshly as we do ourselves. Firstly, because they're usually just as self-absorbed as we are, and secondly, because they simply don't find it as bad as we think it is when others make mistakes.

Are you looking for routines that help you unwind? Do you want to finally get a good night's sleep? Learn how to calmly handle stressful periods.

Discover now

3. You blame yourself for everything

No matter what happens, do you always look for fault in yourself first? As I said before: Being able to reflect on yourself and your mistakes is healthy and important. But chances are you won't always be to blame for everything. Whether it's an argument with your girlfriend or a botched group project at work: you probably contributed to the problem – just like the other people. But if you always immediately assume that everything bad is your fault, then you should take a closer look.

4. You take everything very personally

Your friend cancels a meeting or doesn't respond to your text? You immediately feel attacked and assume she's angry with you. You wonder what you did wrong again. Quick reality check: In most cases, neither the cancellation of your meeting nor the lack of response have anything to do with you. She probably just had something come up and/or was having a stressful day. But the fact that you take these things so personally shows how insecure and self-critical you are.

5. You can't be happy about success

No matter how well things are going for you, it's hard to truly enjoy them. The fear of making a mistake or someone criticizing your success is too great. And besides, the slightest joy about something you've accomplished immediately brings thoughts of things that didn't go well. If you only ever see your mistakes and can't celebrate your successes, you should take a closer look at your inner critic.

6. You don’t like to ask for help

You clearly see asking someone for help as a sign of weakness. After all, you should be able to do it on your own! If you're afraid to admit that you can't do something or at least need support, it's probably because you're very hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with needing help. After all, no one can do everything. But that has nothing to do with your worth as a person.

7. You don’t handle criticism well

Criticism is a part of life. In relationships, at work, or in completely different situations – when we do something wrong, we have to be able to accept it. People whose inner critic is very active often have trouble accepting negative feedback. At first glance, it may seem as if they are overconfident and full of themselves. But in truth, a lack of ability to accept criticism is often a sign that we are very hard on ourselves.

Source used: psychologytoday.com

mbl Brigitte

#Topics