Female orgasm: How do older women experience it?

August 8th is International Female Orgasm Day . This date has been commemorated since 2006 to raise awareness and educate women about sexual pleasure. Many taboos still prevent us from freely discussing these topics; among them, the barrier posed by addressing the sexuality of older adults .

On the occasion of this day, EL TIEMPO spoke with experts and older women about sexual pleasure in this life cycle.

The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors (GSSAB), which included 13,882 women between the ages of 40 and 80, showed that between 18 and 41 percent of those surveyed had difficulty achieving orgasm.

“Women in their older years face two cultural limitations. On the one hand, we socially understand old age as a period in life in which we've passed our useful life. Furthermore, at every stage, women are told not to enjoy themselves,” explains Lina Restrepo, a psychologist at Javeriana University and a master's degree holder in sexology.

Despite the widespread misconceptions surrounding old age, Vanesa Matiz, psychologist, sexologist, and member of the Colombian Association of Sexual Health, explains that "old age is not synonymous with expiration, but rather a new stage in life to renew sexuality and pleasure with a different perspective."

Restrepo and Matiz agree that raising awareness and educating women is key to ensuring that everyone can exercise their right to pleasure, one of the sexual and reproductive rights in Colombia.

Old age is not synonymous with expiration, but rather a new stage to renew sexuality and pleasure with a different perspective.”

Menopause is the natural end of menstruation. “It's a time of transformation, and no one educates us about the changes our bodies will undergo. I've met women who continue to experience sexual desire and also women who say it no longer appeals to them. The important thing is to understand ourselves in the transformation,” explains Lina Restrepo.

Miriam Cotes is a 66-year-old woman who experienced changes in her libido as a result of menopause. She grew up in a family of doctors who taught her about sexual and reproductive organs from an early age. However, she first heard about pleasure, the clitoris, and orgasm in American books and during encounters with feminists while she was a university student.

“Over the years, genitalia changes, but there are other ways to experience sexual pleasure in a relationship that don't necessarily have to do with genitalia. For example, caresses, tickling, sleeping next to the other person—those kinds of physical contacts that don't necessarily end with genitals,” she says.

As Vanesa Matiz explains, "After menopause, estrogen levels drop. Some women may experience vaginal dryness, decreased lubrication, or less tissue elasticity, but that doesn't mean the pleasure ends. With lubricants, new ways of indulging ourselves, changes in foreplay, and exploration of new erogenous zones, the intimate and sexual experience can continue to be fulfilling."

Some women may experience vaginal dryness, decreased lubrication, or less elasticity in the tissues, but that doesn't mean the pleasure is over.

As with younger women, older women's sexual desire varies according to multiple characteristics. "Desire is influenced by psychological, mood, relational, hormonal, biological, and contextual factors," explains sexologist Lina Restrepo.

María Salmón is a 77-year-old woman (whose name has been changed at the source's request). Since the age of 67, she has felt a decline in her sexual desire; however, she emphasizes the importance of transforming the perception of older adults' sexuality.

“Put aside your prejudices. There's a different rhythm to older people's sexuality because there's a different level of knowledge and experience; it's not immediacy. Let go of the idea that an older person is no longer an object of desire,” emphasizes Salmón.

Furthermore, being sexually active at this stage is often accompanied by greater clarity and communication. Without the fear of pregnancy, while protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections, women tend to enjoy life more fully.

Andrea Castillo is a 63-year-old mother , lawyer, and public servant (name changed at the source's request). At 57, after the death of her husband, one of her daughters gave her a sex toy, and years later, she met her current partner.

Put aside your prejudices. There's a different rhythm to adult sexuality because there's a different level of knowledge and experience; it's not immediacy.

"I imagined that at this point in my life I'd let that part of me go dormant. But no, I don't feel like the years affect me at all. Besides, I think at this point, you're much more confident; you know what you like, what you don't, and how to tell your partner," Castillo says.

Self-exploration or masturbation is the voluntary and conscious stimulation of one's own body or genitals for the purpose of achieving sexual pleasure. This practice offers multiple benefits to one's sexual life.

“Knowing our own bodies, exploring what sensations we enjoy, and how our bodies are stimulated gives us tools to communicate this to our partners and maintain a connection with ourselves. Masturbation is also a form of self-care and a reminder that pleasure is also a personal and autonomous act,” emphasizes sexologist Vanesa Matiz.

Maritza Torres is a 76-year-old Venezuelan woman, a doula, and birth facilitator. She discovered masturbation at age 20 when she resisted the sinful mandate she was raised with.

Three years ago, Maritza left a relationship in Venezuela and now talks about the importance of masturbation.

"I have to give myself pleasure for myself, have intimate relationships with myself. We have to get young women to enjoy their sexuality from within themselves, from touching themselves, caressing themselves, masturbating, seeing and appreciating themselves as they are," she explains.

Sexologist Lina Restrepo encourages older women to educate themselves about the potential changes their bodies may undergo. It's a mistake to believe that sexuality and aging are incompatible.

Relating to change as something natural can unlock us a little and at least allow us to observe ourselves, with curiosity, not with judgment, because if you observe yourself with judgment, you become even more blocked.

“With age, hormonal function, body, interests, the dynamics of relationships, and the dynamics of one's relationship with oneself change. Relating to change as something natural can unlock us a little and at least allow us to observe ourselves, with curiosity, not with judgment, because if you observe yourself with judgment, you become even more blocked.”

Likewise, "with professional support, communication with your partner, and an open attitude, practices can be adapted to rediscover pleasure and find satisfying ways to experience intimacy, whether as a couple or alone," adds Vanesa Matiz.

EL TIEMPO SCHOOL OF MULTIMEDIA JOURNALISM