Eurovision 2025: What The Hell Is This and How Do I Watch?
This Saturday brings us the Grand Final of the Eurovision Song Contest, the annual all-singing, all-dancing, glistening global musical extravaganza of your dreams, specifically the dreams you have after you’ve taken NyQuil. Hundreds of millions of people tune in each year, untold thousands throw viewing parties, the host city teems with visiting fans. Eurovision is massive around the world, and it’s one of those things, like universal healthcare or Robbie Williams, that has never quite taken hold in the United States. But there is a small and growing cult around it; if you have an American friend who knows about Eurovision, you have an American friend who won’t shut up about Eurovision. Today, allow me to be that American friend to you. Here’s a quick explainer, and a preview of what you’ll see, hear, and feel this weekend.
What is Eurovision?It’s like the Miss Universe pageant, except it’s for songs, and it happens in a world where people go fucking nuts for the Miss Universe pageant. It’s like if the Super Bowl were European instead of American, and they skipped the game and just did the halftime show for three hours. It’s pop music, plus geopolitics, plus those SNL Art Dealers sketches, multiplied by glitter. It is everything.
Okay, yes, but what is it?Thirty-eight countries throughout Europe (plus Australia, Israel, and a handful of countries in the Caucasus region of Eurasia) each submit a song. After two semi-final rounds, 26 of these songs move forward to the Grand Final, which airs this Saturday, May 17, 3 p.m. eastern time, on Peacock. An international jury assigns points, a worldwide viewing audience votes via the Eurovision app, and the winning country hosts next year’s contest.
So where is it this year?The 69th Annual Eurovision Song Contest is happening in Basel, Switzerland, because last year’s winning song was “The Code” by Nemo, a song and artist that answer the question: what if the legendary precision of Swiss watchmaking could be applied to Troye Sivan?
Here’s the great news: Switzerland has four national languages, and none of them are English. Eurovision really shines when its hosts are not native English speakers. “We prepare to be very excited by today’s result,” they will say. “Let us together put our hands, yes?” Listen, this year’s hosts’ English will definitely be better than my Romansh (one of the four national languages of Switzerland, and a language I learned just now is a thing), but I will still laugh at it. Switzerland last hosted the Grand Final in 1989, the year after they won with “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi” by Celine Dion.
I know. That’s the way it is sometimes. Ireland’s entry this year was a woman from Norway singing about a Soviet dog cosmonaut. In 2022, San Marino was represented by Flo Rida. Don’t overthink it. In fact, don’t think it; the only wrong way to enjoy Eurovision is to try to use reason.
Didn’t they make a movie about this?They did. Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga from the cursed year of 2020. But trust me, the real thing is so campy and kooky, so sincere and silly/serious, that Will Ferrell himself could not top it. Eurovision makes parody redundant.
Can I just jump right in?Honestly, this might be the best year to do that. We lost some good ones in the semi-finals— Australia’s “Milkshake Man” by Go-Jo was a peppy single-entendre summer jam that did not go-jo the distance, the aforementioned “Laika Party” from Ireland got put down early— but the 26 entries in Eurovision 2025 are rich with bangers. This is the first field in a long time that feels pretty much wide open. Here are a few of my highlights.
MALTA: “Serving,” Miriana ConteSo there’s been a little bit of controversy here. This song was originally titled “Serving Kant,” kant being the Maltese word for “singing.” But the a in that word is pronounced like “ah,” so, with this in mind, say “serving kant” out loud. Yeah. See? The Eurovision governing body stepped in, the k-word has been bowdlerized, and now the song is just called “Serving,” with a blank space afterwards that the live audience will for sure fill in. Thoughts and prayers to the sound team in the Eurovision control room. This is a cheap ploy for attention, and I kind of hate how well it works.
Every now and then a pure, simple, nice little pop song makes its way to the Grand Final. And so it is with this one, a bittersweet number about the youth of Portugal being forced to leave their home country for better job opportunities elsewhere. Its lack of flash is what might make it stand out. Plus the lead singer looks like a Tom Schwartz you don’t have to be concerned about, and the band is so Portuguese that fully three-fifths of them are named João.
Sweden is always a force to be reckoned with in a competitive pop song situation, which you know because you have heard ABBA and Max Martin and Robyn. Måns Zelmerlow won for Sweden ten years ago with all-time Eurovision bop “Heroes,” and it looked like he’d be representing his country again this year with the not-dissimilar “Revolution.” But in a stunning upset, he lost 2025’s Melodifestivalen to this one. (He did not take it well.) “Bara Bada Bastu” translates loosely to “let us just take a sauna,” It’s a kooky-catchy ode to Sweden’s sauna culture, and it is sung by guys from Finland. Again, just let it wash over you.
Six countries get to skip the semis and go right to the final: the host country, and The Big Five: France, Spain, Germany, Italy, and the UK. The UK’s track record in Eurovision has been not great, and Brexit didn’t do them any favors. But their luck turned around three years ago, with Sam Ryder’s “Space Man” coming in second. This one is a song about waking up after a boozy night on the town, and if the harmonies are on point, I’d expect it to go far. (Remember Monday are a trio of West End musical theater veterans, so the harmonies will be on point.)
A passionate number— zjerm means “fire” in Albanian—about hope in a divided world. It’s a grower, and it’s a good argument for watching the final: how else would you be exposed to traditional Albanian goth-folk electro-chamber protest pop on a Saturday afternoon?
There’s also usually an entry that’s on the unpleasant end of quirky, and more often than not, they get stopped at the semi-final round. This is this year’s, and this year we were not so lucky.
This singer, whose name I do not have the energy to type again, last represented Poland in the 1995 Eurovision Song Contest. Thirty years later, she’s still got a four-octave range, and killer taste in material. Also, she’s made Forbes Poland’s list of most valuable entertainers. This is how we all find out Poland had its own Forbes.
And this is how we find out Latvia has its own Last Dinner Party. This one is a dark horse, if dark horses can have faerie vibes.
It didn’t make the final, but attention must be paid. “Milkshake Man” is about as subtle as “Serving Kant,” Go-Jo is an Australian-rules footy player turned pop star, and I am legitimately shocked that America produced a Benson Boone before Australia got around to finding theirs.
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