Sick woman? Then the chance of divorce appears to be significantly higher

“In sickness and in health” is one of the vows many couples make during their wedding ceremony. But new research shows that sickness and in health also play a major role in divorces. And there’s one gender that gets the short end of the stick: women.

The number of gray divorces, in which couples separate after the age of 50, is increasing. And apparently health plays a role in this. Psychologist Mark Travers, who previously also raised four common predictors of divorce, cites a study for Psychology Today that appeared in the Journal of Marriage and Family .

In many Western countries, including America and Europe, the number of gray divorces is increasing. And for the study that Travers cites, the researchers wanted to know how much influence health has on these gray divorces.

For their study, the scientists examined data from 25,542 European heterosexual couples aged 50 to 64 between 2004 and 2022.

The study found that divorce rates among healthy partners remained fairly stable. If the husband became ill and the wife remained healthy, the chance of divorce did not increase significantly. But when the wife became ill… there were suddenly striking figures to be recognized.

In marriages where the wife had a serious illness, divorce rates were significantly higher. If women had physical limitations that made daily tasks difficult, the chance of divorce also increased.

Travers points out that there is a great imbalance in the way illness affects the stability of a marriage. The deep-rooted expectation that a woman must always ensure that the household runs smoothly apparently has quite an impact on the marital bond.

“Over decades, these roles have been reinforced by socialization processes—beginning in childhood—where girls are subtly taught to value caregiving, domestic skills, and home maintenance. In contrast, young boys rarely receive the same instruction in tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or child rearing,” the psychologist notes.

Although societal shifts are certainly taking place in these kinds of expectations, it appears that traditional norms still apply in many older marriages. “Where women continue to bear the mental burden of household and care tasks,” says Travers.

For husbands, their wives’ inability to fulfill these roles due to illness can be seen as a kind of breach of the marriage contract. But according to the psychologist, it is precisely this mentality that breaks the vow. “In sickness and in health” should not require a woman to put household chores above her own well-being for the sake of the marriage. It should mean that if she can no longer fulfill these responsibilities, her husband can and should step in.

Travers advocates shared responsibility. “But in reality, this is unfortunately not always the case. Not even when women are struggling with health problems.”

According to Travers, this division is self-perpetuating. “Young boys grow up with few to no role models for the household. They often enter marriage with the unspoken (or even spoken) expectation that their partner will take on these responsibilities. And in traditional marriages, this expectation remains stubbornly entrenched.”

He continues: “It is disturbing that this means that the promise in 'sickness and in health' can be interpreted differently depending on which partner becomes ill.”

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