What’s a Twin Flame? An Astrologer Explains

When Taylor Swift re-released her fan favorite song “All Too Well” as an expanded 10-minute track, she added a few particularly devastating lines. In the new Taylor’s Version, she sings, “And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? / Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?” Besides being a heart-wrenching thing to ask an ex, it also begs the question: What does Swift mean when she says “twin flame”? According to Tali Edut, one half of The AstroTwins, ELLE’s resident astrologers, there are “multiple schools of thought” when it comes to the fiery concept and its connection to astrology. Edut shares her insight below.

“Our twin flames are our teachers,” Edut says. “You just feel this out-of-body, other worldly chemistry.” They might show up as a romantic partner, a creative partner, or something of the sort, but as Edut explains, there’s a feeling of undeniable connection, and it’s often that person “you just can’t quit even though you feel like you should.”

Twin flame relationships are also not for the faint of heart. “If you just want to kick back and have an easy-breezy chill relationship, this is not it,” she says. “It’s going to be a roller coaster ride, but it’ll be exhilarating in a lot of moments—a lot of highs and lows.”

According to Edut, twin flames can also exist as a spirit guide. “Sometimes you don’t even incarnate in the same lifetime.” For example, if a person is content being single and doesn’t feel the need to have a relationship, it could be that their twin flame is with them in spirit.

It’s a good question, Edut admits. “That’s why I think people can have multiple experiences of a twin flame.” But if you want to drill down a specific feeling, she explains it’s a sense that you’re on one path, but then after meeting someone, you’re suddenly going down a totally different one. “They can change the course of your life,” she says. “You’re drawing in black and white, and then all of a sudden it’s like Dorothy lands in Oz from Kansas. It’s a black and white world to where the fuck am I?”

According to Edut, twin flames often have astrological charts that might seem difficult or incompatible, whereas soulmates will probably have compatible charts “because there’s an ease in the way you live together.” Since a twin flame is there to be a lesson, you’re going to feel that as a result. “You’re going to feel some pain. It’s going to force you to grow.”

Oftentimes, Edut says, she’ll see twin flames who are one, three, five, or six signs apart. “Three signs apart...you’re going to butt heads a little bit. Five signs apart, you just don’t have anything in common astrologically. One sign apart is like next-door neighbors with totally different tastes; someone likes tacky lawn furniture, and the other is Crate & Barrel. It’s just these uncomfortable mashups.”

However, Edut clarifies that while sometimes trauma bonds can masquerade as twin flame relationships, a twin flame relationship will not harm you physically. “It’s not about torture, torment, abuse. That’s not part of it.”

For one, you don’t have to marry your twin flame, Edut says. “I also think people get really hung up on calling someone a twin flame. We all want someone to be our twin flame, but what the fuck does it really matter?” Also, trying to hunt for your twin flame is a surefire way not to find them, she adds. “You wouldn’t pick them out of a lineup. They’ll probably catch you by surprise and you’ll be like, ‘Huh? That person?’”