Grand Tattoo for Olaf Scholz: These 5 songs were actually supposed to be played for the Chancellor
Chancellor Scholz will be given a ceremonial farewell in Berlin on Monday evening. He can choose three songs. We have a few ideas. A commentary.
Olaf Scholz , the chancellor of hearts and strong emotions, is leaving. Forced to do so. His dream of a second term is shattered. After 1,242 days in office, the Scholzomat must hand over his glass chancellor bunker on the Spree to his successor—swept clean, of course. But before Scholz passes the baton, he will be bid farewell with trumpets, fanfares, and live music at the Grand Tattoo. A ceremony as humorous as the chancellor himself, culminating in the performance of three songs.
As the ARD Capital Studio reported, the acting chancellor has already communicated his musical preferences to the Bundeswehr Staff Band. The concert will begin with the Beatles' "In My Life," followed by an excerpt from Johann Sebastian Bach's Second Brandenburg Concerto, and conclude with "Respect" by Aretha Franklin. The chancellor's wish is the Bundeswehr's command. However, we have a few alternatives to offer that would be a bit more suited to Olaf Scholz.
Even before Olaf Scholz moved from the Bundestag to the Federal Chancellery, doubts about his memory were beginning to arise. When it came to Cum-Ex or Warburg, the air became so thin that the Chancellor was struck by an episode of amnesia. "I can't remember," Scholz said to the investigative committee in the Cum-Ex scandal, as if singing a chorus.
Cum-Ex involved fraud cases that, according to experts' estimates, caused losses of at least 40 billion euros. To this day, it remains unclear what role Scholz played in the fraudulent mess. One thing is certain: he can't remember. If the current chancellor were to play the song of the same name by Alice In Chains, he could at least demonstrate a touch of self-irony.
The term "criticism" and the name Olaf Scholz have entered into a symbiotic relationship in recent years. No matter where, no matter when, no matter how—wherever the Chancellor was, criticism always accompanied it. It should not be forgotten, however, that Scholz was not only plagued by memory lapses; crises also targeted him. The pandemic was still raging when Russia invaded Ukraine.
By the following winter, gas storage facilities were barely full, prices were exploding, and colleague Habeck 's blunt rhetoric was the last straw for the citizens. The mood was at rock bottom, and anyone would have stood on the Chancellery balcony at that moment and shouted "Help!" But Scholz didn't need any help. He's a self-reliant man. He still likes the Beatles, but he prefers the song "In My Life" to our recommendation "Help." What a pity.
Olaf Scholz hasn't lived up to the stereotype of the sober politician who rarely laughs and is never euphoric. He's surpassed it. If Scholz were a noise, he would be the sound of silence. It's almost as if the folk-rock duo Simon and Garfunkel wrote their 1964 song "The Sound of Silence" for Olaf Scholz, a Hanseatic citizen who was six years old at the time.
By the time Olaf Scholz had completed his third year as Chancellor, he had become completely detached. Yes, the traffic light coalition was history. Things were looking anything but good for him. Even worse. The Hanseatic politician's popularity reached a record low in polls and emerged as the most unpopular Chancellor of the last 27 years. But Scholz wouldn't be Scholz if he didn't care. Forgo another candidacy for Chancellor just because the people are happy with him? Absolutely not! The Chancellor floated through the atmosphere, like Major Tom in Peter Schilling's song of the same name, completely detached from the Earth.
And again, reading the verses, one wonders whether this song was written for Scholz: "In the control center, one panics. The capsule's course isn't right at all. 'Hello Major Tom, can you hear? Do you really want to destroy the project like this?' But he can't hear anything. He keeps floating."
As the saying goes, the best comes last, and if our soon-to-be ex-chancellor is truly as humorous as is currently claimed, he can prove it to the whole world with this song: "Short People" by Randy Newman. Because how sad would life be if you couldn't laugh at yourself a little?
Olaf Scholz isn't 1.98 m tall like his successor Friedrich Merz, but only 1.70 m. The phrase "Small but mighty" is written all over Olaf Scholz's face. Because at the end of the day, height doesn't determine success or failure. The right strategy, perseverance, and brief memory lapses pave the way to power. At least for 1,242 days.
Berliner-zeitung
